Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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