U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
