respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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