Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
