i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
