theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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