You work out of a Hotel?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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