Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he puts the penis in happiness.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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