Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
