Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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