That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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