The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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