so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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