Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
