but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
