WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
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