Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
