I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
