is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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