I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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