I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
