Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
