And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Dick very happy bro
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
