shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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