Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
