I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
