He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
