I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
