You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
