I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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