doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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