omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
