Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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