One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
