They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
