Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
