I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
