I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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