OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
