Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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