you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
