I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
