She's JV to your varsity
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
