what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I wear drunk well.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
