Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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