Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
