So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
