THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
