my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
