I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I think I sprained my soul last night
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
